I’m down at a secret location helping my mate Bertie with a very special event in the badger calendar. Each year, whilst the rest of the woodland community are busy carving pumpkin lanterns and generally scaring the wits out of each other, badgers gather together to take part in regional heats of the Mr Potato Head Championships.
As a nominated helper, I was permitted to assist with physical labour during the competition, but rules dictated that I had to keep schtum with regards to artistic input (not easy)!
However, Bertie is terribly artistic and it came as no surprise to anyone when he won first place. Sadly, his winning creation won’t be on display in the village hall for a week as is usual after such an event, for on overhearing one of the rabbit judges remark that the winning potato bore a striking resemblance to “our pink faced Prime Minister” Bertie promptly loaded his slingshot and blew its brains out!
Mashed potato everywhere, amidst the roar of cheers and whoops from the crowd, Bertie was awarded the Turnip Prize for artistic composition and handed an extra fiver for ‘Services to British Wildlife’.
What a laugh!
Do you love badgers? Do you believe that they should be left to enjoy countrside competitions without interference from the government? Have you ever entered a competition and won first prize? Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box.
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