37 – Office Gossip / Part Three


Continued from last blog ………..

I made myself useful by brewing up a nice pot of Masala Chai which purports to improve mental clarity, whilst Millie and Gertrude bashed out a solution to the memo problem ….

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The kitchenette was in an awful mess so whilst the girls were busy I decided to give it a bit of a tidy.  In an opened packet of ‘builder’s brew’ tea bags I came across the missing tenner and an old key.  Millie wrote out a list and sent me on a late night shopping trip.

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Early next morning, before anyone arrived at work, Millie and me pinned a number of new items to the staff notice board, which I didn’t fully understand until I read an inspirational quote that Millie keeps framed on her desk.

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Management would like to wish John every success in his new career!  There will be a leaving party on FRIDAY.  Everyone most welcome.  John – I’ve booked you an appointment with ‘medical’ at 3.30pm to get your ears washed out!  Millie

TARQUIN – Here’s a book I thought you might like to borrow.  Millie

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NEW LIGHT BULBS HAVE BEEN INSTALLED IN THE STAFF TOILETS  Clive – Please accept this fur shampoo with our sincere apologies.

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MEMO – TO: Eric FROM: Millie DATE: Today  AGENDA: Getting your facts right before contacting the regional rep.  Dear Eric, Please could you come to the office for tea and biscuits at 10.30am.  Millie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE!  Hope you have a lovely day!  Thanks for everything you do around the place to keep the depot running.  Come to the office to collect your present, we’ve got you your favourites!  Millie and ALL

ALL STAFF  Please return all strike placards to the basement.  Gertrude

MAUREEN – I have some lovely scone recipes I pulled out a magazine.  Come for tea and a catch up after your shift.  Millie x


By the end of the day things were pretty much back to normal, with the odd change for the better!

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Tarquin Mouse – Me and Clive off to the pond for an evening swim, we have a rope swing!  Who wants to join us?  Bring your trunks, towel and snacks!



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Seems things got sorted in the end.  In the mouse world there’s very few things that can’t be sorted out by either sitting down for a cuppa and a chat or throwing a ruddy good party.

Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box. Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf

36 – Office Gossip / Part Two


Continued from last blog ………..

As soon as he left the office, John telephoned Cuthbert in ‘Stationery Supplies’ to tell him what he’d heard about me and Millie accusing George of stealing £10 from the petty cash tin.  Cuthbert was really annoyed …..

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Cuthbert rang Maureen who works in the staff canteen.  Maureen was even more annoyed to the point of being bloody furious.  So furious infact that she nearly broke the screen on her iMouse smart phone whilst bashing out a furious text to her husband Eric.

“Morris and Millie accusing George of stealing £10 from petty cash.  Threatening disciplinary action if money is not returned!”

Word got round that Maureen was serving extra mash in the canteen.

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Eric, who’s shop steward wrote detailed notes on his union issue clipboard then got straight onto the region union rep via email.

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The regional union rep advised immediate action!

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MEANWHILE ….. the work experience mice, not ones to miss an opportunity to put up an attention seeking status, flooded on to social media …..

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Tarquin Mouse Shocking thing happened today, don’t ask!

Emily Mouse  R u ok hun? x

Leanne Mouse  Sending big hugs.

Tarquin Mouse  Have inboxed you Emily.

Cat  I won’t!

Katy Mouse  What’s happened?

Clive Mouse  Strike!

……………………………………………………………………  Oscar started a WhatsUpp message to Gertrude

Oscar  What’s Tarquin banging on about now?

Gertrude  Oh that thing with Morris and Millie and the petty cash.  As usual Tarquin try to make it into his own personal drama.

Oscar  Seriously, do they not have anything better to talk about?

Gertrude  *trying, soz typo

Gertrude  Evidently not!  What does Katy look like with those headphones on?

Oscar  An idiot! lol ………

Gertrude  Did you hear about Clive?  Last bulb blew in the lavs, he tripped and got his head stuck down the pan! lol


Eric sent an internal memo to Millie informing her of an ‘all out strike’ if she didn’t retract her accusation regarding George and the missing £10 from petty cash.

Millie was confused.


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The saga continues … will Millie be able to sort this one out?   Call back next week for the final instalment of OFFICE GOSSIP.

Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box.  Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf


35 – Office Gossip / Part One


Dear Lucy,

I’m back at the Post Office Depot for a few days to catch up on my mail and spend time with my good friend Millie.

Millie was thrilled with the tea blends which I brought back from the bathhouse and absolutely over-the-moon with the bathhouse towelling toga, which she’s been wearing ever since.

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Things were busier than usual down at the depot, and as I sat reading my mail a strange series of events occured as a result of the business of the day combined with pretty much everyone at the depot getting the wrong end of the stick.

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Millie was, as usual, doing two things at once, busying between the front office and the back room trying to sort end of employment certificates, and find a £10 note that she thought she’d put in the petty cash tin but hadn’t.

John was sitting in reception outside the office door, waiting to collect his P45 and could hear everything that was being said in the office ………. or so he thought!

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Things Millie said whilst in the office which could be heard in reception (IN CAPITALS).

Things Millie said whilst in the back room which were inaudible from reception (in italics).

“I’M REALLY ANNOYED THAT £10 HAS GONE MISSING FROM THE PETTY CASH BOX.  I PUT IT DOWN TO misplacing it somewhere when I was talking to the odd job man GEORGE on Friday.  Damn nuisance HAVING saved that money aside for LIGHT bulbs to go in the staff toilets and chocolate FINGERS for George’s birthday present.  Morris did I tell you that John is leaving us TO FIND HIMSELF A NEW JOB in telecommunications?  Damn, I’ll have to draw some cash out the bank IF THE £10 DOESN’T TURN UP SOON.”

Morris “Telecommunications? But John is as deaf as a post!”

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Engrossed in my letters but feeling duty bound to show some concern, I asked Millie if she had found the tenner yet, to which she replied “no, despite having searched every drawer, cupboard, nook and cranny in the entire office and back room”.  Millie then started to talk about ideas for John’s leaving present just as he burst into the office.  He looked a bit grumpy.

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Millie and myself were looking a bit sheepish as we had to stop mid conversation and weren’t sure if John had heard us discussing his present.  John, on the other hand, thought we looked a bit guilty because we’d been bad mouthing George, although he didn’t say.


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What will happen next?  Call back next week for the second instalment of OFFICE GOSSIP.

Can you spot Morris’s pictorial reference to the Roman bathhouses, can you find the connection?  Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box.

Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf

34 – Rodent Eating Romans and Masala Chai

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Dear Lucy,

During the castle battle I somehow managed to pull a posterior thigh muscle and after limping around for a few days Tommy suggested I pay a visit to the Aqua Musculus Medicinal Tea Bathhouse in Somerset.  Tommy cured a cricketing injury there last year after finding an advert for the baths in an issue of the West Country Mouse Gazette.

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Much is known of the natural geothermic spring bathhouses developed by the rodent eating Romans in around 60AD.  Little, in comparison, is known of the medicinal tea bathhouses in Bath, pioneered by mice in the mid-18th century.  Heavy taxation on tea opened up a busy smuggling industry along the British coast.  Tea was smuggled inland through hidden passages and pathways to special hiding places, quite often that of the local parish church, which were as we know, quite often frequented by mice.  Of course, mice have for millennia been using herbal hedgerow remedies to cure a variety of ills but being a species not to ‘look a gift horse in the mouth’, the mice began nibbling through storage sacks and smuggling their own parcels of this new aromatic leaf down to the then named Herbal Bathhouses in Somerset.

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The tea bathhouses have seen some changes over the years, with today’s facilities taking advantage of the many exotic tea varieties now stocked by small stores and local markets.  Mixed with traditional hedgerow remedies, the Aqua Musculus Medicinal Tea Bathhouse offers a comprehensive menu of soaks for every disposition and ailment.

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I found the Earl Grey with Passion Flower and Linden to be most relaxing, but took a particular liking to the recently introduced Masala Chai bath, full of aromatic spices from far flung India.  After a week of therapeutic baths and a daily massage with rose petal infused olive oil, I am now fully restored.  I’ve purchased a few packets of inspiring tea blends from the gift shop which I’m taking back for Millie, along with a complimentary Tea Bathhouse toweling toga which just happened to find it’s way into my backpack whilst I was packing.


Have you ever tried any alternative therapies?  Have you ever ‘accidentally’ packed a towel or any complementary toiletries from a swanky hotel?  Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box.

Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf