I’ve had my work cut out this week seeing as Millie took me off mailroom duties and put me on a special assignment to search for something that she’d managed to buy and lose all in the same day.
Initially I imagined I’d have the case wrapped up before lunchtime. Millie had seen Stan arranging some new stock in the window of Object d’Art along Mouse Town High Street as she passed on her way to work, she’d popped in and purchased a brooch for Gertrude, which she intended to hide away until Christmas, and somehow lost it on the way to work. What could be harder than retracing her steps from office to Mouse Town combined with a quick rummage down her handbag? Job done and first in line at the canteen for macaroni cheese day … or so I thought!
As Millie rolled out a large scrap of old wallpaper, pinned it to her desk and began to mark out a map of her route that morning from Mouse Town to office, the possibility of even getting to the canteen before supper was looking unlikely. It would seem that after leaving Object d’Art, Millie meandered over to the Artisan Bakery for a multi seed cob and a bag of fudge chunks then took the scenic route across Bramley Orchard to visit Leonard and Velma at the mobile library where she exchanged her books and collected a bundle of invitations to the library fundraising quiz night. She then headed up across Buttercup Meadow and down onto the Hedgerow Road to catch Vernon at his ice-cream van to purchase a tub of Rum & Raisin for her tea. It was only then that she decided to haul her furry backside into to work but not before popping into the telephone box to place a call to Gertrude saying that she might be a tad late into the office on account of the bus having a flat tyre! But it didn’t end there … before even making it into the office she meandered around the entire depot handing out the invitations she’d collected from the library and generally gasbagging to everyone.
Thinking about how one retrieves a needle from multifarious haystacks I suddenly had an idea that my old mate Conker might be able to help seeing as he’d been instrumental in finding a new source of underground water after the well in the village dried up last summer. Having been down just for the hopping season I wasn’t sure whether Conker hadn’t moved on already but luckily I found his vardo still parked up on the edge of the wood just behind Mousington Hall. Rich in the art of ancient mouse ways, Conker assured me, after a cuppa and a chat, that if I gave him a little time to make preparations and came back the next day, map in hand, he would teach me how to find the lost brooch … and so the very next day I was expertly tutored in the ancient art of divining.
Setting out with my freshly whittled hazel twig, the job of keeping my mind clear to think of nothing other than the lost trinket didn’t seem that taxing until I found myself being led here there and, just about, everywhere by my own wandering thoughts. Amongst many other places I found myself hovering over the tray bakes at the bakery after thinking about Millie’s fudge chunks, inside the call box after wondering whether I’d paid my phone bill this month, in a field full of sheep because I’d regretted not wearing my thick wooly scarf that morning and outside the public conveniences after suddenly realizing I was busting for the lav!
The missing brooch now firmly in my thoughts I returned to the depot for a quick brew, a rummage around the coat stand behind the office door for a thick scarf and a suspected severe dressing down from Millie. A few minutes later Millie walked in to find me entangled in a huge bundle of all weather clobber desperately trying to control the hazel twig, which was jumping up and down like an old washing machine on a 5000rpm spin cycle. Sheepishly she slid her paw into her coat pocket and pulled out the brooch.
I don’t mind telling you Lucy, that had Millie not left the office immediately and returned with an extra large helping of yesterday’s leftover macaroni cheese, she may well have been in my bad books for the entire month.
Conker reckons I’m a natural and says that if I ever want to join him on a caravan road trip then I’m most welcome.
Do you have a friend like Millie who’s a complete pain in the backside but always seems to get around you with a plate of macaroni cheese? Do you have a trick for finding the lost things? Morris would love to hear from you, just drop him a line here or under his Instagram, Facebook or Twitter shares.
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