39 – Coughs and Sneezes


Dear Lucy,

Us mice have a longstanding love hate relationship with the first frosts of the season, for whilst it bites at our noses with the promise of stealing the soft warm soil from under our toes until next Spring, its icy crystals breakdown and sweeten the wild rosehips making them perfect for our winter syrups.


Whilst the depot mice organised the harvesting amongst the hedgerows, Millie and I took a brisk walk to the hives to let the bees know we were ready for our honey.


On the way Millie explained to me that some years ago, after a particularly disastrous epidemic of coughs and sneezes brought the depot workforce to a standstill, she set about negotiating a deal with the local bee population.


In return for the mice creating and tending wild flower beds around the depot gardens, the bees promised to provide some honey come harvest time so that the mice could produce their own supply of vitamin C rich winter syrup. Millie says there’s being a marked drop in staff absences since the scheme began and the bee population has doubled over the past two years as a result of the abundance of flowers in the gardens.

Millie is one smart cookie!

Love M.M.


Morris writes this blog in support of all his bee friends that are now facing a crisis situation with populations plummeting worldwide, and would ‘politely’ urge everyone to do what they can to help the bees even if it’s just planting a small patch or window box of bee friendly flowers.  Morris would love to hear about any of your bee friendly activities, so please feel free to hit the comments box.

Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf


38 – Monte Carlo


Dear Lucy,

Sorry I haven’t written in a while.  Myself, Millie and Cyril have spent the best part of the last month in Monaco preparing for the Monte Rodentia Grand Prix.

Despite intensive strategy training, the day of the race turned into a series of ‘flying by the seat of our pants’ manoeuvres due to Team Squirrel surreptitiously cutting Millie’s brake cables the evening prior to the race.


Noticing she was in trouble I urged Millie to abandon the race, but, not being one to admit defeat, Millie shouted back that she was confident she could control it on the handbrake.


I’m pleased to write that Team Morris won, whilst Team Squirrel found themselves swimming their furry backsides back to shore after tumbling into the Med due to Cyril’s quick thinking of setting up an impromptu roadblock fashioned from: a picnic hamper, folding chair and a thermos of tea.




Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve had to fly by the seat of your pants like Team Morris? Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box. 

Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf

FREE Morris Mouse Letter Writing Template

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Dear Morris Mouse Fans,

I’ve designed this little letter template so that you can enjoy writing to family and friends. It’s nice to get an email or a text but it’s even nicer to receive a letter through the post with a stamp on it.

Letters don’t have to be long, sometimes it’s nice to receive just a few lines from a friend to know that they are thinking about you, or maybe you need to scribble a quick thank you note to someone who’s given you a lovely present or taken you on a nice trip out.  The possibilities are endless.  And don’t forget, you don’t have to print out on boring white paper, why not try a lovely piece of good quality cream paper in your printer!

There’s no charge to print this template, it’s totally free, but I would ask that you please only use it for personal and not commercial purposes.

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I’d love to see what you do with your letter, so if it’s not too private, please feel free to post a photo on my Facebook page or on my Twitter account.  I’d especially love to see any that are coloured in!


To download, click on the link below:



Happy letter writing!


Morris Mouse


37 – Office Gossip / Part Three


Continued from last blog ………..

I made myself useful by brewing up a nice pot of Masala Chai which purports to improve mental clarity, whilst Millie and Gertrude bashed out a solution to the memo problem ….

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The kitchenette was in an awful mess so whilst the girls were busy I decided to give it a bit of a tidy.  In an opened packet of ‘builder’s brew’ tea bags I came across the missing tenner and an old key.  Millie wrote out a list and sent me on a late night shopping trip.

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Early next morning, before anyone arrived at work, Millie and me pinned a number of new items to the staff notice board, which I didn’t fully understand until I read an inspirational quote that Millie keeps framed on her desk.

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Management would like to wish John every success in his new career!  There will be a leaving party on FRIDAY.  Everyone most welcome.  John – I’ve booked you an appointment with ‘medical’ at 3.30pm to get your ears washed out!  Millie

TARQUIN – Here’s a book I thought you might like to borrow.  Millie

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NEW LIGHT BULBS HAVE BEEN INSTALLED IN THE STAFF TOILETS  Clive – Please accept this fur shampoo with our sincere apologies.

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MEMO – TO: Eric FROM: Millie DATE: Today  AGENDA: Getting your facts right before contacting the regional rep.  Dear Eric, Please could you come to the office for tea and biscuits at 10.30am.  Millie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE!  Hope you have a lovely day!  Thanks for everything you do around the place to keep the depot running.  Come to the office to collect your present, we’ve got you your favourites!  Millie and ALL

ALL STAFF  Please return all strike placards to the basement.  Gertrude

MAUREEN – I have some lovely scone recipes I pulled out a magazine.  Come for tea and a catch up after your shift.  Millie x


By the end of the day things were pretty much back to normal, with the odd change for the better!

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Tarquin Mouse – Me and Clive off to the pond for an evening swim, we have a rope swing!  Who wants to join us?  Bring your trunks, towel and snacks!



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Seems things got sorted in the end.  In the mouse world there’s very few things that can’t be sorted out by either sitting down for a cuppa and a chat or throwing a ruddy good party.

Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box. Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf

36 – Office Gossip / Part Two


Continued from last blog ………..

As soon as he left the office, John telephoned Cuthbert in ‘Stationery Supplies’ to tell him what he’d heard about me and Millie accusing George of stealing £10 from the petty cash tin.  Cuthbert was really annoyed …..

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Cuthbert rang Maureen who works in the staff canteen.  Maureen was even more annoyed to the point of being bloody furious.  So furious infact that she nearly broke the screen on her iMouse smart phone whilst bashing out a furious text to her husband Eric.

“Morris and Millie accusing George of stealing £10 from petty cash.  Threatening disciplinary action if money is not returned!”

Word got round that Maureen was serving extra mash in the canteen.

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Eric, who’s shop steward wrote detailed notes on his union issue clipboard then got straight onto the region union rep via email.

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The regional union rep advised immediate action!

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MEANWHILE ….. the work experience mice, not ones to miss an opportunity to put up an attention seeking status, flooded on to social media …..

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Tarquin Mouse Shocking thing happened today, don’t ask!

Emily Mouse  R u ok hun? x

Leanne Mouse  Sending big hugs.

Tarquin Mouse  Have inboxed you Emily.

Cat  I won’t!

Katy Mouse  What’s happened?

Clive Mouse  Strike!

……………………………………………………………………  Oscar started a WhatsUpp message to Gertrude

Oscar  What’s Tarquin banging on about now?

Gertrude  Oh that thing with Morris and Millie and the petty cash.  As usual Tarquin try to make it into his own personal drama.

Oscar  Seriously, do they not have anything better to talk about?

Gertrude  *trying, soz typo

Gertrude  Evidently not!  What does Katy look like with those headphones on?

Oscar  An idiot! lol ………

Gertrude  Did you hear about Clive?  Last bulb blew in the lavs, he tripped and got his head stuck down the pan! lol


Eric sent an internal memo to Millie informing her of an ‘all out strike’ if she didn’t retract her accusation regarding George and the missing £10 from petty cash.

Millie was confused.


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The saga continues … will Millie be able to sort this one out?   Call back next week for the final instalment of OFFICE GOSSIP.

Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box.  Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf


35 – Office Gossip / Part One


Dear Lucy,

I’m back at the Post Office Depot for a few days to catch up on my mail and spend time with my good friend Millie.

Millie was thrilled with the tea blends which I brought back from the bathhouse and absolutely over-the-moon with the bathhouse towelling toga, which she’s been wearing ever since.

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Things were busier than usual down at the depot, and as I sat reading my mail a strange series of events occured as a result of the business of the day combined with pretty much everyone at the depot getting the wrong end of the stick.

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Millie was, as usual, doing two things at once, busying between the front office and the back room trying to sort end of employment certificates, and find a £10 note that she thought she’d put in the petty cash tin but hadn’t.

John was sitting in reception outside the office door, waiting to collect his P45 and could hear everything that was being said in the office ………. or so he thought!

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Things Millie said whilst in the office which could be heard in reception (IN CAPITALS).

Things Millie said whilst in the back room which were inaudible from reception (in italics).

“I’M REALLY ANNOYED THAT £10 HAS GONE MISSING FROM THE PETTY CASH BOX.  I PUT IT DOWN TO misplacing it somewhere when I was talking to the odd job man GEORGE on Friday.  Damn nuisance HAVING saved that money aside for LIGHT bulbs to go in the staff toilets and chocolate FINGERS for George’s birthday present.  Morris did I tell you that John is leaving us TO FIND HIMSELF A NEW JOB in telecommunications?  Damn, I’ll have to draw some cash out the bank IF THE £10 DOESN’T TURN UP SOON.”

Morris “Telecommunications? But John is as deaf as a post!”

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Engrossed in my letters but feeling duty bound to show some concern, I asked Millie if she had found the tenner yet, to which she replied “no, despite having searched every drawer, cupboard, nook and cranny in the entire office and back room”.  Millie then started to talk about ideas for John’s leaving present just as he burst into the office.  He looked a bit grumpy.

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Millie and myself were looking a bit sheepish as we had to stop mid conversation and weren’t sure if John had heard us discussing his present.  John, on the other hand, thought we looked a bit guilty because we’d been bad mouthing George, although he didn’t say.


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What will happen next?  Call back next week for the second instalment of OFFICE GOSSIP.

Can you spot Morris’s pictorial reference to the Roman bathhouses, can you find the connection?  Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box.

Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf

34 – Rodent Eating Romans and Masala Chai

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Dear Lucy,

During the castle battle I somehow managed to pull a posterior thigh muscle and after limping around for a few days Tommy suggested I pay a visit to the Aqua Musculus Medicinal Tea Bathhouse in Somerset.  Tommy cured a cricketing injury there last year after finding an advert for the baths in an issue of the West Country Mouse Gazette.

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Much is known of the natural geothermic spring bathhouses developed by the rodent eating Romans in around 60AD.  Little, in comparison, is known of the medicinal tea bathhouses in Bath, pioneered by mice in the mid-18th century.  Heavy taxation on tea opened up a busy smuggling industry along the British coast.  Tea was smuggled inland through hidden passages and pathways to special hiding places, quite often that of the local parish church, which were as we know, quite often frequented by mice.  Of course, mice have for millennia been using herbal hedgerow remedies to cure a variety of ills but being a species not to ‘look a gift horse in the mouth’, the mice began nibbling through storage sacks and smuggling their own parcels of this new aromatic leaf down to the then named Herbal Bathhouses in Somerset.

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The tea bathhouses have seen some changes over the years, with today’s facilities taking advantage of the many exotic tea varieties now stocked by small stores and local markets.  Mixed with traditional hedgerow remedies, the Aqua Musculus Medicinal Tea Bathhouse offers a comprehensive menu of soaks for every disposition and ailment.

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I found the Earl Grey with Passion Flower and Linden to be most relaxing, but took a particular liking to the recently introduced Masala Chai bath, full of aromatic spices from far flung India.  After a week of therapeutic baths and a daily massage with rose petal infused olive oil, I am now fully restored.  I’ve purchased a few packets of inspiring tea blends from the gift shop which I’m taking back for Millie, along with a complimentary Tea Bathhouse toweling toga which just happened to find it’s way into my backpack whilst I was packing.


Have you ever tried any alternative therapies?  Have you ever ‘accidentally’ packed a towel or any complementary toiletries from a swanky hotel?  Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box.

Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf

33 – The Battle of Tankerton Castle MMXVI



Dear Lucy,

By the time I arrived at Tommy’s I half expected the battle for the castle to be all but over, however it seems that I hadn’t missed too much action and events were still in full swing.

With both sides seemingly equally matched this year the battle had been raging for two days, pretty much to the pattern of boring predictability of the past two decades.  Cannons packed with dried horse dung were constantly firing over the rat encampment within the far reaches of the grounds, buckets of banana skins and soapy water were, as always, being poured from the gatehouse roof in an attempt to slip up any attempt to cross the broken draw bridge and Tommy was down in the cellar organizing a constant supply of refreshments.

Things, however, took a turn in the rat’s favour when an air of noiselessness fell over the castle some half an hour after I had heard a strange rumbling noise late Friday afternoon.   Initially I assumed the rats had begun to admit defeat and were quietly packing up their arsenal, but Rastius (leader of the rat revolt) showed no sign of waning as he and I battled back and forth on the stairs of the central keep.  That was until Barty rather politely, and somewhat bizarrely, enquired as to whether either of us would care for a creamed asparagus vol-au-vent.


Continuing our battle aloft, all was not revealed until Rastius and I burst out onto the roof of the keep and Rastius let out a blood-curdling, although somewhat pantomime in character, laugh.  Over on the castle parapets every archer mouse had given up his or her longbow in favour of busying through what appeared to be an impromptu buffet.

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Seems the rats had finally managed to outwit us this year by taking delivery of a skillfully engineered trebuchet from Medieval Weaponries R Us, which had arrived via courier van at half past four.  As hampers brimming with do-it-yourself fondue sets, cheese and pineapple hedgehogs, mini party pies, vegetable crudités and mango syllabubs winged their way towards the curtain walls, every available mouse downed tools to go in search of trestle tables and freshly laundered linens, thus leaving way for the rats to scale the battlements and fly their flag of victory to signify the end of the battle.


As losers of this year’s campaign the mice are duty bound to cook a roast dinner for the rats on the first Sunday of every month for the next year.   It’s a forfeit they’ll undertake without complaint as all rodents enjoy a good get together.

The Battle of Tankerton Castle 2016


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We hope you enjoyed the Battle of Tankerton Castle.  Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box.

Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf

32 – Henry, the Church and Wellington’s Boots

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Dear Lucy,

Have been visiting the south coast of England circa 1850, primarily to explore its fabulous castles built originally by King Henry VIII between 1539 and 1540 when he became a tad paranoid of European invasion after pissing off the Roman Catholic Church.  If I’ve got this right and I think I have, Henry wanted to divorce his wife Catherine of Arogan, but Rome wasn’t having any of it, so Henry decided to start his own church and make up his own rules.  He got a new wife!   With mainland Europe being only 25 miles away by sea Henry built a chain of gun forts in preparation for an invasion that never happened.


Back to 1850 I’m spending some time at Walmer Castle in the company of the Duke of Wellington who, was not only one of the leading military and political figures of the 19th century, gaining ultimate fame after defeating Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo, but also something of a fashion pioneer designing a pair of innovative boots to fit comfortably with the newly fashionable pantaloons. We remain forever in his debt for bringing to the nation the much loved Wellington boot. The defeated Napoleon however brought very little to the world of fashionable attire other than wearing his hat around the wrong way, placing the then popular bicorn across his head rather than facing it’s pointy ends fore-and-aft as was the style of the day.

Wellington’s room at Walmer Castle is most comfy, with a nice old desk for writing letters and a sturdy campaign bed from his military days.  The sound of the sea is most soothing and beneficial to getting a good night’s sleep.  I leave with a pair of new boots, a fantastic hat and a shiny sword which will come in handy very soon, as on my last night I received a call to arms from my good mate Tommy who’s castle is yet again being invaded by the local rats.


Do you own a pair of Wellington boots, are yours the regular variety or do they have fancy patterns on them?  Have you ever visited Walmer Castle?  If not, you really should if you get the chance, it’s fabulous!  Morris would love to hear from you, so please feel free to hit the comments box.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf

31 – Application DENIED!

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Dear lucy,

Being back at the sorting depot for a while I’ve managed to catch up on a pile of mail set aside for me by my good friend Millie.

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I received a lovely postcard of the beautiful hills of Tuscany from Winston who is currently on a four month cruise around the Med with his friend Betty.  The ship has been specially adapted for geriatric mice with plenty of stair lifts, 24 hour new age therapy rooms and specially prepared diets for delicate digestive systems.  Tommy wrote to inform me of exciting renovations to his castle.  Apparently he’s erected an enormous orangery on the west wing for his bonsais, with underfloor heating and a sunken swimming pool.  I must pay him a visit soon!

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Amongst all the lovely letters however, I received a somewhat disappointing rejection to my application to the reading rooms at the British Library.  I had hoped that using Winston as a reference would ensure success, but apparently not!  Not one to fall in the face of defeat, I took my application to London with the intention of making a formal complaint, however, on reaching the museum I stumbled across a special mouse entrance and was able to gain access for a few days without any further bureaucratic form filling.

Love Always,


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Morris would appreciate it if all readers of this blog keep the knowledge of his embarrassing middle name under wraps.  Those with equally embarrassing middle names are free to share their shame by hitting the comments box.  Or if you’re not brave enough to ‘fess-up’, let Morris know what you would read if your application to the library was accepted.

Morris will get back to you mouse style.

© All images and story content copyright of lynncf